Blogger or Booger?

Blogging, this is one issue I want to put on hot seat today because I'm sitting with this issue since way past time.If you ask me if I want to blog, the answer is "yes". And if you ask me if i don't want to blog, the answer is also "yes". Hmmm complicated isn't it? Anyway I'm complicated myself so why should this blog be any better. haha

Yes, I want to write a blog, words just want to flow from my veins, and its swimming in my brain which always delay me when I'm in the restroom..haha good news mom! now you know! peace! ^^)v

And No I don't want to because I'm afraid and thought its just plain useless...
Afraid because I would appear dumb than the other bloggers, they write smarter things, they look smart and they talk smart. I'm afraid to seem dumb to everybody who is reading this because of grammatical errors, wrong phrasing and wrong spellings. So maybe I would like to use this moment to say, yes I'm partially dumb.^^
I'm not always be right, but I'm not always be wrong. wouldn't I?


Hmmm now that its over with, you know my fears and know that I'm dumb, so maybe I will not explain myself to you in the near future when you spot those irregularities.
Now to the plain useless thing. You see, I'm really having this a thought, why would I post and make an effort to write anything that will not really have anything to do in your life but only in mine. Isn't that sound kinda useless already, right?
So why do this bloggers still cover there life interests?
and they're still doing it until now and then...
but...I envy them.

I envy them because they just don't care.
They just want to be heard and want it out loud.
They are not afraid.
While me on the other leg, just curling up, putting my ideas on a little niche, taking care of them but not letting them get into the wild. How would anybody know what I feel, what I want, what I saw, hear, touch and experience? their are no witnesses. No spectators. Just me and my niche. Alone. Dull. Very dull and rusting.


So now, I'm getting wilD! haha I'm making my own safari, my niche will be set free. Because I'm a free being and so is my imagination, ideas and thoughts. I would still be enjoying the privacy of my thoughts but some will jump across the boards.^^

Hoping that this blog will not be alone and have some readers, 'coz that's what blogs are made for. It is to be public,publish, and read.



Hope you enjoy the following blogs too!




Be not be afraid. ^^) \m/






-dk_r-

Ungratefulness

Why do I sleep with a heavy heart?

When I look around, I see, I don’t have everything but I don’t have nothing also..i just have enough.

I have things that people would trade for…loving family, home, allowance, food, security in life.

There’s just these moments that I wanna drown out in silence or be deaf before the music.

These are the moments that I know I’ve done wrong.

Sometimes despite all they’ve done for me, I still tend to be an ungrateful spoiled daughter.

So ungrateful that I wanna strangle myself….do such a child exist? Yes, I am.

I sigh at my mistakes…leaves me staring…blankly.

I know it hurts them when I do that, but why do I do that?

I have witness how they toll, they care, they love, how worried they are for me…maybe they can lay their lives for me. And what am I doing? Taking those for granted?

I’m really good at that…very, very good.

Why did I become a person like this, when I get to be like this I always lost everything, and that’s why maybe someday I’ll be alone.

For them I say sorry. Pasenxa nah if I didn’t grow up as a human, just become a living shell.

Just how many times did I disappoint you? How many are the commands/request you have asked of me and I just turned and play deaf, be busy with my life and that’s how I was. But if I’m the one to asked you something you give it to me on a silver platter. You two are really great.

I’m sorry if I’m cold, irritable, rough, short tempered and untouchable.

Salang lang siguro sa init at salang sa lamig.

But I know I have no excuses for my actions I know sometimes it’s not bearable anymore…maybe you want to renounce me or something, throw me in a pit, or drag me somewhere far so that I will learn my lesson…but you didn’t.

Maybe that’s what you called unconditional love.

That’s why I’m so thankful that I have you.

I love you.

And these words are so rarely voiced.

So I’m saying this because I’m not a very outspoken person in these circle, I love you and I appreciated all you’ve done for me, and I’m sorry if I’m not discreet or modest. And I know some of the words I spoke have stung you and leave you in pain.

I know I must be more understanding now that you two are not getting any younger…I who was left here must do my duty..and that is to protect and care for you.

I hope I still can make it on time to change pls don’t let me come too late…

May God bless you Health.

Please HEAL them Lord!!