Ungratefulness

Why do I sleep with a heavy heart?

When I look around, I see, I don’t have everything but I don’t have nothing also..i just have enough.

I have things that people would trade for…loving family, home, allowance, food, security in life.

There’s just these moments that I wanna drown out in silence or be deaf before the music.

These are the moments that I know I’ve done wrong.

Sometimes despite all they’ve done for me, I still tend to be an ungrateful spoiled daughter.

So ungrateful that I wanna strangle myself….do such a child exist? Yes, I am.

I sigh at my mistakes…leaves me staring…blankly.

I know it hurts them when I do that, but why do I do that?

I have witness how they toll, they care, they love, how worried they are for me…maybe they can lay their lives for me. And what am I doing? Taking those for granted?

I’m really good at that…very, very good.

Why did I become a person like this, when I get to be like this I always lost everything, and that’s why maybe someday I’ll be alone.

For them I say sorry. Pasenxa nah if I didn’t grow up as a human, just become a living shell.

Just how many times did I disappoint you? How many are the commands/request you have asked of me and I just turned and play deaf, be busy with my life and that’s how I was. But if I’m the one to asked you something you give it to me on a silver platter. You two are really great.

I’m sorry if I’m cold, irritable, rough, short tempered and untouchable.

Salang lang siguro sa init at salang sa lamig.

But I know I have no excuses for my actions I know sometimes it’s not bearable anymore…maybe you want to renounce me or something, throw me in a pit, or drag me somewhere far so that I will learn my lesson…but you didn’t.

Maybe that’s what you called unconditional love.

That’s why I’m so thankful that I have you.

I love you.

And these words are so rarely voiced.

So I’m saying this because I’m not a very outspoken person in these circle, I love you and I appreciated all you’ve done for me, and I’m sorry if I’m not discreet or modest. And I know some of the words I spoke have stung you and leave you in pain.

I know I must be more understanding now that you two are not getting any younger…I who was left here must do my duty..and that is to protect and care for you.

I hope I still can make it on time to change pls don’t let me come too late…

May God bless you Health.

Please HEAL them Lord!!